Guest columnist Jackie Carpenter: My Son, Acquitted Of Murder At Last! (Part 4)

 

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Jackie Carpenter of Ellaville, Georgia, is the mother of two sons, Jim, 35, a pastor, and Jason, 32. She is the author of “The Bridge: Between Cell Block A and a Miracle Is Psalm 91” and its sequel: “Georgia Justice (Journey To Faith).” Both books chronicle a 10-month ordeal entailing her son Jason’s murder trial and her gradual rediscovery of her deep faith in God. The two books are being turned into a movie, “A Cry For Justice,” due for release this Fall. The Carpenters also have four grandchildren: Hannah, Anna Grace, Patience and JJ. For more details, please see www.bridgetoamiracle.com

Dear Jason,

Four months after the shooting, I was admitted to a hospital dying from exhaustion and a broken heart. I was studying Georgia law 24 hours a day and could find no answers. Everyone in our family was suffering. My entire family was dying all around me.

This hospital bed was the place that God had to get me still so that I would listen to Him. What He told me was this: “You are searching the wrong books.”

I received a blood transfusion and was released from the hospital. I went to CVS to get my medication. There on a book stand was “Psalm 91: God’s Shield of Protection,” a book about miracles. At home I received a phone call from my Sunday School teacher’s husband. “Jackie,” he said, “you have got to start living your life in a different way in order to survive. You have to move your life into the Book of Psalms.”

I did just that. God was telling me everything I needed and wanted to hear. He says in Psalms, “Jackie, I can take the crooked way and make it straight.” He said, “False Witnesses will rise up, but put not your trust in man for I am your Defense.” I started claiming a miracle through Psalm 91.                                       

Am I dying? That’s what I asked myself six months after the shooting. I feel as if I am suffocating and choking on my own tears, in my own bed. I must be having a nightmare. But how can that be if I’m still awake? 

As I tried to sit up, I was short of breath, my palms sweating, my fingers and toes numb. I did not want to wake up Larry. This feeling had come over me for six months now. This has become normal for me.

I tried to climb out of the bed without making any noise.I was able to get down to the floor and back onto my knees down beside my bed. This was the place I had to get to in order to make the nightmare go away, and to be able to breathe normally again. For, you see, this is where I knelt before the Lord and prayed for strength. I  prayed for the strength to crawl from the bed into my prayer closet. If I could just make it that far without dying, then I would know I would be safe from Satan.

I crept from the bedroom through the darkness until I saw the little night light that would guide me into the prayer closet and toward my life support, Psalm 91. Once in there, I said, “Here I am again, Lord.” He would gently lead me through His Word until I found peace, my breathing slowed down, I refocused my thinking, and I was again able to return to bed.

P.S. – Please see part 5 tomorrow.

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