Mother’s Day Special Comes to Town Soon!

Dear Reader,

Starting this Sunday, you’re all in for a treat. In honor of Mother’s Day, we’ll be posting guest columns from eight mothers, each addressing a letter directly to her kids.

No, that’s no typo. That’s eight, as in two more than six and four times more than two.
Among the contributors will be Jill Smokler, the force of nature behind the top blog Scary Mommy,

Also here will be a high school teacher, an advertising executive and photographer and a Ph.D. in communications

Rounding out the cast of contributors will be a former Washington Post reporter, a longtime friend of mine who prefers to remain anonymous, a public-relations professional and two women partners who are now mothers together

All these guest columns are very much in keeping with my diabolical plan to give you a chance to hear voices other than mine for a change.

Be grateful for small blessings.

Meantime, as long as we have your attention, let us urge you to take three little actions.
For starters, please take our pledge to write letters to your kids,

Second, please answer the nine easy multiple-choice questions on this survey about family history

Third, do subscribe to this blog.

Now, you might well ask yourself, “Why on earth should I? Why should I take some dumb pledge, fill out a dumb survey and subscribe to this dumb blog?

Well, for starters, you’ll lose all your extra weight overnight. You’ll also be able to earn millions of dollars a day working from home in your spare time. And you’ll have the best relationships you ever imagined.

Do you know any other blog that can make such claims?

But here’s the clincher. It’s now all free. True, it was free before. But now it’s even freer.
In fact, it’s now twice as free. And that’s a 50% savings! Here’s the catch, though. It’s a one-time offer only. Or at least it will be until the second time it’s offered. So technically, consider this my second offer.

Once again, this entire package is now available free — only now I’m offering a discount.
If you’re under 100 years old, you’ll get 15% off.

And if you subscribe today, you’ll get an additional 10% off, tax excluded.
Take advantage. This offer may be unavailable again until tomorrow. Or maybe next Tuesday at the absolute latest.

Bear in mind these additional benefits of coming through right now. You’ll never get fat. You’ll never be hungry again. Best of all, you’ll never get old.

But why take my word for it? The New York Times recommended my blog:
So did Woman’s Day:

The Fox News Channel even gave us airtime:

Chances are, if the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention were even remotely aware of this blog, it would recommend you take one dose daily.

P.S. – Tomorrow this blog resumes its regularly scheduled programming.


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