And now, pulled direct from my notebooks, here are some lines intended to amuse:
· When duty calls, I usually let my answering machine get it.
· I’ve tried to curb my tongue, but it turns out the leash is too short.
· Can you get surgery for having your head up your ass? If so, I might be a candidate.
· I’ve always heard about people reading someone the riot act. I’ve never seen it, though. Could someone please send me a copy?
· I wish I had some fitting last words for you. But I can only think of two.
· I know now why people sometimes say I sound condescending. It’s because I think I’m better than they are.
· Imagine someone so desperate for attention that every time he sends an e-mail he blind-copies himself.
· I wanted people to able to say I had my heart in the right place. So I went to a cardiac surgeon. He agreed to relocate it.
· When anyone calls me contrary, I tend to disagree.
P.S. – Part 2 will appear tomorrow.